Impossible Staircase

by Andrew Judah

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1.
Burn It Down 04:11
Here in this bed, I made, I lie, but I can’t sleep So, I don’t dream, but if I could, I’d dream of you I’m either out to lunch or drifting out to sea But I’m a mess and I don’t know what I should do So light me up, what can I do? I need you My effigy, a gift to you I need you Let it burn Hear the alarm bells ringing, all around me, all the time But every exit’s blocked and I can’t move The animals surround me, grin and bare their teeth I am alone and I don’t know what I should do So light me up, what can I do? I need you My effigy, a gift to you I need you Let it burn Refiner’s fire takes our house, consumes our home I pace around, inhaling smoke and call for you I hear a voice and so I freeze but I can’t move Between the known and the unknown, I search for you For you
2.
Penrose 07:09
You keep on walking away I just don’t know anymore Where is the line?
3.
Too long I’ve pushed these thoughts away 15 years wasted, you don’t change I’ve had enough of your shit And I’m getting older I don’t need this, I don’t want you Go away I’ll clean up every mess you’ve made While you recover in the shade Don’t fool yourself Sure you pretend you’re getting better But you aren’t and we both know it Go away Just give up now I can’t be swayed I’m not alone, I’m not afraid Not in a thousand years And don’t pretend you own me I don’t need you, I don’t want you Go away Do as you’d like Go where you will Leave me alone I know you will
4.
Best In Show 05:54
Everything’s gonna be okay Put it off for another day I promise you Yoo-hoo Who really cares about the words these days Nobody listens to ‘em anyways Except for you You do I don’t wanna know The measures that you took If it’s just for show Save your guarantees I get really cynical And you don’t seem like best in show I don’t wanna know Okay? Little by little you’re slipping away Don’t speak so loud when you got nothing to say I heard you coming from miles away I saw this coming, saw this coming
5.
Raise Me Up 05:35
Been falling for days Down the steps in my mind Both angels and demons Are with me tonight Went out into the night Can’t find my way back Won’t somebody help me Untangle these lies And you keep raising me up I’m still in a haze But I’m starting to climb Both heroes and villains Are with me tonight I stare into the light I rewrite the past Won’t somebody help me I’m all out of tries Oh my god How did I end up down here? Oh my god I made a big mistake here
6.
Lose My Mind 05:36
I would lose my mind for you I don’t have a lot to lose I would cover up the truth If it made no sense to you I’m a mess but I’m with you I’m a mess but I’m with you I don’t know what else to do I can’t trust my mind So what can I do? I’m all out of time I’m under pressure and afraid I want it all to go away I want it all now No way out
7.
Hold the applause Self-sabotage On the ground again what can I do All this time I still don't have a clue Pleasure my god Hair of the dog One more round again what can I do All this time I still don't have a clue Round and round again what can I do All this time I still don't have a clue Hard to atone Draw blood from stone Circle round again what can I do All this time I still don't have a clue Round and round again what can I do All this time I still don't have a clue That which does not kill you makes you strong Break out of this feedback loop And rage against the dying of the light Lost in the fog again I’m reaching out for something I can grab onto To center me I can’t tell left from right But I am willing to admit my flaws And try to make amends For all the shitty things I’ve done to you And maybe even start over again Can I please start over again?
8.
Primrose 05:02
Sleepwalk down the primrose Step over the line From order to chaos Every time Estranged and entangled That voice in your mind Pink noise in the background Give it time Your lifeboat is sinking Stray arrow of time How quickly the dream fades Every time Your chains are imagined It’s all in your mind How long till you wake up Give it time I’ve got reservations Let sleeping dogs lie Speak not of the devil …. Impossible staircase Recalcitrant mind Ascend and then descend One more time

about

On Impossible Staircase, Canadian singer/songwriter Andrew Judah puts us inside the mind of a person struggling with addiction. “The song that started it all was Best In Show”, recalls Andrew. “It was an older idea that I decided to finish and release as a single. The lyrics sort of just poured out of me on an improvised vocal take. It felt sincere, so I pulled on that thread a little harder. This led me down a path of writing a bunch of songs about a close friend who was struggling with addiction. I wrote from various perspectives, observing my feelings, the feelings of those more directly affected, and the thoughts and feelings of a person who is both the confident driver and the unwilling passenger of a full-on train-wreck. One of the initial concepts for this record was the emphasis on the idea of feedback loops. Researching this led to me stumbling down a rabbit hole one evening. I eventually landed on an MC Esher painting titled “Ascending and Descending", which prominently features a set of Penrose steps--also called the 'Impossible Staircase'. It felt like a fitting image for an album focused on the experience of somebody trapped in a feedback loop.”

credits

released April 20, 2020

Words and music by Andrew Judah
Produced by Andrew Judah and Caleb McAlpine

Andrew Judah - autoharp, bass, drums on 3, 4, 7, guitar, kalimba,
mellotron, omnichord, organ, percussion, piano, rhodes, synth,
toy piano, vibraphonette, and vocals
Caleb McAlpine - vocals on 7
Chloe Davidson - violin on all tracks
Connor Murdock - trombone on 5
Joshua Clark - vocals on 2, 7
Max Weiner - lap steel on 2
Paul Clark - drums on 6
Sarah Clark - vocals on 2, 3, 7 and flute on 5, 8
Zac Gauthier - drums 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7

Engineered and mixed by Andrew Judah
@ Sounds Suspicious & The Cabin
December 2018 - December 2019

Mastered by TW Walsh

Artwork by Max Weiner
Design by Caleb McAlpine
Thanks, Ash

Sounds Suspicious Music Publishing (SOCAN)

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