Metanoia

by Andrew Judah

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    Metanoia artwork on Next Level 6010 Vintage Black t-shirts. Super soft and comfortable. Just look at the lovely Zac, sporting his Metanoia t-shirt. See how happy he is? Wow! You could be that happy too!

    For a limited time, all t-shirt purchases include a free download of the full album in any file format of your choice. Rip it to a cd, upload it to a torrent website, or ad it to your iTunes library like its 2005. So great. Wow.

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1.
Die 00:56
live alone ‘till you die I don’t care about you no more you can go to hell and burn alive and I won’t cry at all
2.
Hell? 03:29
you were just what I needed that’s what everyone said so I wanted to meet you 
almost love at first sight introduced by a friend so I thought that I knew you 
I have something to ask you that I couldn't back then I am over it now 
if I’m one of your children if I’m right or I'm wrong should it matter at all what if I go out searching and I wonder too far will you let me back in or will you call me a Thomas or a peter? a Judas? will you call me your friend 
or will you send me to hell? for the ways that I’m different for the hopes you put in me for the doubts in my mind for my passage through time for the place I was born in for the home I was raised in and the people who love me do you love me at all? 
you were just what I needed that's what everyone said so I wanted to meet you 
now I’m too scared to leave you but I still don’t believe you I’m afraid of the dark
3.
blinding light that knows no sleep I run from you, you burn my feet in the shade I find no sleep your heavy shadow smothers me darkness falls but I don’t sleep I wait for you, you wait for me lonely speck, the pale blue dot spins round and round as I depart who am I apart from you a better man? prodigal son? staggering beyond belief your arms reach out to strangle me
4.
Proof 02:15
when I was young I came to you you stole my heart and no one knew and in the shadows of my youth I earned the scars, I have the proof when I inhaled that strange perfume I lost myself and bowed to you what wasn’t said became the truth I earned the scars, I have the proof the setting concrete in my bed the lonely nightmares in my head and in the wake of things unsaid I earned the scars, I have the proof surrounded yet I am alone surrender to the great unknown nobody knows me quite like you these fading scars are now my proof
5.
Fear 03:11
you fear the dark I seek the truth I’m not like you you play your part I make my move it’s nothing new What’ll I do? What’ll I do? What’ll I do? you trust the word I ask for proof I’m not like you your stagnant heart I fear for you it’s nothing new What’ll I do? What’ll I do? What’ll I do? What’ll I do? What’ll I do? What’ll I do? maybe I’m just like you are tell did you feel the same hope I don’t end up like you
6.
Fool in Love 02:07
all of the world is a mess what can I do can't find the words to confess how I love you and I'm afraid I'm a fool in love hope I don't screw this up sunshiny girl I feel the world pressing down from above me but when you smile I forget and I love you and I'm afraid I'm a fool in love hope I don't screw this up sunshiny girl and I'm afraid … hope I don't screw this up sunshiny girl
7.
Blue 02:42
Maybe you don’t know what I need Maybe all of you is not enough for me When I offer you affection, you run from me Maybe you don’t know what I need Maybe you don’t see what I see Maybe blue for you is more like red for me When I offer you affection, you run from me Maybe you don't see what I see You put a spell over me I was blind now I see I was lost in a dream Hold me down, hold me down You put a spell over me I was lost in a dream I was blind now I see Hold me down, hold me down Maybe you don't breath how I breathe Maybe right for you is more like left for me When I offer you affection you run from me Maybe you don't breath how I breathe
8.
Empty Rooms 02:56
For so long I have tried Pushed you out of my mind Bit my tongue and I swallowed my blood and my pride For so long I have tried For so long you have lied Don’t play nice, you’re not nice Fooled me over and over and over again For so long you have lied
9.
I slipped between the cracks I’m right beneath the surface And you wouldn't believe What’s happening to me I gave up on the past I’m questioning the purpose And you wouldn’t believe What’s happening to me I know I might be wrong I know I might be wrong I tore myself apart I put myself together And you wouldn’t believe What’s happening to me I know I might be wrong I know I might be wrong And you wouldn’t believe What’s happening to me I know I might be wrong I know I might be wrong I wandered off the path I know it makes you nervous
10.
Ricochet 02:52
holy night ricochet deja vu foolish holiday blinding light find the shade out of view plan my getaway sleepless nights lonely days thoughts of you lead me astray out of sight far away gone from you finally got away
11.
I trust in myself again and again going nowhere all of these years am I losing control please let me know I’m all by myself passed over again going nowhere spinning my wheels am I out of control please let me know reign over me reign over me reign over me am I out of my head when I say… I’ll do it myself start over again going nowhere digging my heals in I need to control please let me go reign over me reign over me reign over me am I out of my head when I say… still don’t have a clue are you my guide or a snake or a ghost still running from you are you my bride or the wake of a boat here’s one thing I know I’m doubting myself all over again
12.
Cell Mates 03:28
me and my brother got out we were born in a cell we were born in a cell we found another way up and we’re doing so well and we’re doing so well we’re not going to hell we’re not going to hell don’t worry mother, calm down you were serving us well you were serving us well we’ve both recovered, slowly and nobody can tell and nobody can tell stepped into the white light and ran towards the end the tunnel just to find there’s nobody there we’re not going to hell we’re not going to hell sorry but there’s nobody there ok we’re not going to hell we’re not going to hell
13.
small crimes, always get the best of me hard lines, have we lost the in-between strange times, constant state of disbelief red signs, that nobody seems to see right now I’m full of nothing but questions you know I find it hard to believe someday I hope you see what I see rewrite, change into a different key hindsight will not get the best of me insight, both a whisper and a scream delight, in the possibilities right now I’m full of nothing but questions you know I find it hard to believe someday I hope you see what I see you will you will you will right now I’m full of nothing but questions you know I find it hard to believe someday I hope you see what I see
14.
I’m either stressed or just bored can’t decide not sure if I’ll ever be satisfied toe the line draw the line am I a stick in the mud paralyzed maybe it’s all in the blood fossilized toe the line draw the line sometimes I stare into the sun I dream that I could run I really want to run away toe the line draw the line
15.
Lonely Light 04:12
I’m asking you to go away I really don’t have the time to foster you or shelter you inside my heart or my mind I’m pushing you but you won’t move how can I leave you behind if I made you, you came from me I guess I’m losing my mind who knows how I’ll forget you who knows how I’ll make it through lonely light all my life I’ve run from you only a shadow of mine who knows how I’ll forget you who knows how I’ll make it through lonely light lonely light lonely light
16.
Interloper 03:30
I’ve been away for awhile did you miss me I see the hint of a smile oh! will you remain in the light or follow me you say you won't but you might oh! we’ll have to see I might just stay for awhile choke your esprit drown in the muck and the mire oh! throwing your weight out of spite wrestle with me I’ll keep you up every night oh! I might just stay
17.
for some reason I can't explain it takes everything that I've got love to please but then woe is me if you press for more than I want where are you now don’t be so glib about it don’t try to complicate what is not where are you now sit down and talk about it no vain confabulations of plot what I’m feeling is just a feeling I don’t believe it at all it’s all in my head I’m seething for no good reason I don’t believe it at all where are you now don’t be so glib about it don’t try to complicate what is not where are you now sit down and talk about it no vain confabulations of plot ooo I’m all out of reasons I gave it my best now I’m done ooo I know that it’s treason I gave it my best now I'm gone
18.
Through You 03:23
I am me I am no-one else and cannot be so let it bleed fill the page again or atrophy does it read like indifference or sincerity I am free I was blind but now I sort of see through you disagree well it doesn’t really bother me we can be worst of friends or best of enemies can't you read in-between these lines of revery I am free I was blind but now I sort of see through you am I repeating myself over and over at night I’m always turning over and over a voice in my head whispers to me sends me a message of love like this song voice in my head please leave me be or send me a message of love like this song, like this song, like this song...
19.
20.
Metanoia 03:47
Saw the light behind us all and could not shake it Dancing figures on the wall are only shadows I was dragged into the sunlight cold and naked Take me back it’s far too deep I miss the shallow Dancing round the sun Take it easy Walk before you run Metanoia You can't fake it Saw the writing on the wall so I erased it Dancing circles 'round the man I thought I once was Now I’m undergoing total transmutation Take these words for what they are I have no answers Dancing round the sun Take it easy Walk before you run Take it easy Slowly come undone Take it easy Metanoia You can't fake it
21.
My Shadow 02:07
22.
Live 01:45
Go live your life It’s the only one you get No one's ever been To the other side and back Just keep looking up to the stars Know you are and you might Find your way back To wherever you belong Yes it’s gonna be Very difficult at first Just keep looking up to the stars at night Know who you are or you might…

about

Writing music can be like painting in the dark. There is a lot of uncertainty involved. To me, if an artist knows exactly what they want to say, then they aren’t reaching beyond their own understanding, they are preaching. Which is the domain of politics or religion. Music can touch on those subjects but is something else entirely.

Metanoia began as a concept - a series of 7 EP’s over 7 months. Each EP was written, recorded, produced and released one month at a time. The intention was to see what would happen if I removed the luxury of time from my creative process.

These self-imposed deadlines produced some unique results. The time constraints forced me down certain paths I might have otherwise avoided. I am not a perfectionist, but I am very particular about my music.

One example would be the song “Through You”. It features several elements that are outside of my wheelhouse. It is upbeat and somewhat danceable. The vocals are very processed. Not auto-tune, but a similar effect. It is part “remix” and features many resampled elements from another track from the Metanoia series, “Blinding Light”. Ironically, this is one of my favourite tracks on the album. I would have scrapped it or gone in a totally different direction with it, had I given myself the time to do so.

The studio is my playground. I love production and arrangement. I am a multi-instrumentalist, and with the help of my good friend Zac Gauthier (Drums), the music part came easy.

The most difficult part for me is always the lyrics. I wanted this album to be very personal and honest. At times I wrote about my struggles with belief in a higher power, and at other times I wrote about struggling to believe in myself.

So here they are. Imperfect, honest, and finished. All 22 tracks, remastered and compiled into a full-length album. I’m very proud of this album and I hope you enjoy it. - Andrew Judah

credits

released September 30, 2017

Written & recorded by Andrew Judah at his home in Kelowna, BC
Produced by Andrew Judah & Zac Gauthier
Sounds Suspicious Music Publishing (SOCAN)
Drums performed by Zac Gauthier
Upright bass on "Blinding Light" performed by Jonathan Tromsness
Art, design & extra vocals on "Nothing but Questions" by Anthony Martens
Originally released as a 7 part EP series between
June 6, 2016, and April 7, 2017

Thank You

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